Try as I may I can't seem to escape the upcoming election and unfortunately I am not referring to American Idol. Although Ryan Seacrest would make a great first lady unlike Bill Clinton(talk about "pole her" opposites . . . did you see what I did there?) Barrack Obama is a fucking idiot. Hillary Clinton is married to a fucking idiot and John McCain has the life expectancy of a premature hiv positive crack baby!
Some have implied that I am racist because of my feelings for Mr. Obama. Now see, would I have referred to him as Mister if I was racist? I simply do not buy the whole JFK thing. The guy has compared himself to Kennedy more times than Pepsi has compared itself to Coke!
John F. Kennedy was a rock star. Here's a guy that was hanging out with the "rat pack" every night (how cool is that?), he was banging Marilyn Monroe(cool squared!) and knocking about with Sam Giancana and the rest of the Chicago mafia(coolamundo . . . as Fonzi would say)! Kennedy made Bill Clinton look like one of the Jonas Brothers!
What has Barrack Obama done that his wife didn't tell him to do? Oh sure he smoked some weed once . He did a little blow( paging Mr. City . . . Mr. Newjack City). Well who hasn't?! I did blow once. And I inhaled . . . many, many times.
Now, I will readily admit that I admire anyone who is taking this election seriously. I simply cannot. My heart goes out to the candidates. Let's face it whoever wins is looking at four years of KP duty in Iraq(pronounced "a-wreck")before he or she can do anything else. Campaign promises couldn't possibly be even addressed until the second term of whoever wins. That's a little thing I like to call logic. Think about it, there is a war going on with no foreseeable outcome except the death of more our brave young men and women. That would make me want to call in sick the first day of my new job! When's lunch?
So vote for whoever you want to vote for. But don't expect too much. And for those of you who don't like the way things turn out . . . well, there's always cocaine. Trust me . . . that shit will make four years sail by!
Some have implied that I am racist because of my feelings for Mr. Obama. Now see, would I have referred to him as Mister if I was racist? I simply do not buy the whole JFK thing. The guy has compared himself to Kennedy more times than Pepsi has compared itself to Coke!
John F. Kennedy was a rock star. Here's a guy that was hanging out with the "rat pack" every night (how cool is that?), he was banging Marilyn Monroe(cool squared!) and knocking about with Sam Giancana and the rest of the Chicago mafia(coolamundo . . . as Fonzi would say)! Kennedy made Bill Clinton look like one of the Jonas Brothers!
What has Barrack Obama done that his wife didn't tell him to do? Oh sure he smoked some weed once . He did a little blow( paging Mr. City . . . Mr. Newjack City). Well who hasn't?! I did blow once. And I inhaled . . . many, many times.
Now, I will readily admit that I admire anyone who is taking this election seriously. I simply cannot. My heart goes out to the candidates. Let's face it whoever wins is looking at four years of KP duty in Iraq(pronounced "a-wreck")before he or she can do anything else. Campaign promises couldn't possibly be even addressed until the second term of whoever wins. That's a little thing I like to call logic. Think about it, there is a war going on with no foreseeable outcome except the death of more our brave young men and women. That would make me want to call in sick the first day of my new job! When's lunch?
So vote for whoever you want to vote for. But don't expect too much. And for those of you who don't like the way things turn out . . . well, there's always cocaine. Trust me . . . that shit will make four years sail by!
1 comment:
Dude, that is hilarious.
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